Draco and Hermy are Sew in luv!
by blacksapphire136
Summary: Humor fic. My idea of DHr. Please note: I do not intend to piss off any hardxcore DHr shippers. I just want to have a little fun! General disclaimer: Not mine. JKR's.
1. Part Une

Draco and Hermy are So in Luv - Part Une!

Hermione leaned towards the mirror, streaking the glittery eyeshadow past her eyelid. It was totally her favorite shadow, purple and sparkly,. She got it when she an ginny went to America last summer. It had been an awesome trip, they picked up hot surfer boys and went to stores like Abercrombie and Fitch and Hot Topic.

Hermione was getting ready for her date with Draco Malfoy who was the Hottest Boy in the School. They were the best couple because Draco was seriously hot and way smart and so was Hermy. They were the hottest and smartest people at Hogewwarts and everyone looked up to them.

So, anyway, Hermione was putting on her makeup by hand. She knew she could do it with magic but everyone totally agreed that it was way hotter when she did it by hand like the muggles do! (not that she need to be hotter, given her position as Hottest Gurl in the School!) She was daydreaming about her date with Draco. (A/N: He is probably wearing like a tite wifebeater on their date cause he has rippling muscles from Quidditch and the weight room that was added to his head boy room. OMG I can totally see it now. Sigh.. he is so dreamy…and Tom Felton? Omg!) Anyway, she finished her makeup and started to walk down the stairs into the Grand Great hall thing. All of the heads of the boys and even some grrls (hahah omg!) turned when she walked down because that is just how hot she is. She was wearing a purple belly shirt and had her amethyst belly-button ring in! (A.N: She got it peirced on the Trip-Without-Parents-to-America-aka-the-trip-that-was-so-awesome-with-ginny-did-i-mention-the-lack-of-supervision ?)

She saw Ginny and waved her over. Ever since the trip to America without parental supervision, Ginny had started wearing totally rad hardcore clothes like from Hot Topic. She looked totally punk, but everyone at Hogwarts was totally accepting like usual! Her boyfriend was Harry and everyone totally thought it was fate since he rescued her from that evil guy in her second year!

Hermy saw Draco across the hall talking to Blaze Zambini who was wearing a lot of eyeliner and looked totally hot but was making out with his boyfriend, Justin Fitch-Fletchyly who was a Hufflepuff. After the war, nobody cared about house divisions anymore. Hogwarts was just like one huge happy family! So anyway, Draco was having trouble talking to Blaze since he was kissing Justin (a/n: hehe forgot about that! I got so wrapped up thinking about blaze kissing a boy in eyeliner. I totally see joel madden as blaze, right !) Hermy flounced over to Draco and kissed him passionately on the lips. He returned her kiss and everyone in the hall sighed (even professor sinistra and a certain author winkwink!)


	2. Part Duex

Part Deux, Draco and Hermy go to Madame Puddifoot's Tea Shoppe (OMg I love typing shoppe it sound sew romantic!)?

Okayso like, Draco and Hermy like decide that it will be so kool for tem 2 leik go 2 supper (A/N: How birtish am I, like serius? Sewwww brit-y) at madam puddifoot's Tea Shoppe, which is where all the couples to be go. It's really exciting, because that is where is Ginny and Harry are ging to lunch I mean supper. So basically They walk are walking down the street in Hogmead and everyone is so awed at theyre beauty and also a little jealous because they are so hott. (Did I tell you what they are wearing? Draco is leik in a wayy tighht wifebeater and also like jeans which is soo fancycasual, yknow,t hat reakky hot look that Posen and Valentino are totes doing on the runways?)

So there is like the weird girl, her name is jessica and she us from america (omg, don't tell any1 but I named her after my sister/dog/significant other/friend because they are sooo the same) anywayy, jess is like america, which is _tres_ uncool is britishland, because like, why be american when you can be british. So she stood there alone becase she is a loner. And she looked at them and smiled like evlly. Uh oh.

Anyway, darco and Hermy walked into The Tea shoppe to the normal gasps of their beautyness, bt like they were so humble sorta like jackie o and jfk. Humble, beautiful people. Sigh. So they sat down at their normal table which is the best one and reserved for the tres most fabu customers olny.

What they don't knotice is jess following themm into the restaurant (obviously she is not meeting adate! Weird freakos don't have dates! Eew!) So she follows them and watches them eat for a little before turning and walking outside and pushing a button on her watch and sayin in to it 'Lucious' and smiling like evill.

CLIFFIE!

A/N: Okie so I am totes totes excited because my wiritng in geting ssooo much awesomer and I got lotsa good reviews! SO LIKE REVIEW I AM SUCH A REVIWE HOR! I WILL WITHHOLD CHAPPIES UNTIL YOU REFIEW/ but like no flames aight? They arent kkewl. So sorry I leike disapeard of the face of Erth for a while! I was in FIJI Like all I did was tann haha im sew hawt now!

Don't hate me for leaavin a cliffie! It is so suspenseful but the more u review the soonere the naext chap will be hear!

loveyousomuchkisseslikealot


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